


Practise makes perfect (sense)

by meowtstanding



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Pining, Ryan's journey of butt discovery, Sex Toys, idiots to lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-02 03:36:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20269366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meowtstanding/pseuds/meowtstanding
Summary: Ryan doesn’t make a habit of thinking about his friends when he’s jerking off. But sometimes in the heat of the moment he can’t help what pops into his head.*Ryan learns a few things about himself, throws himself into research and Shane suffers quietly on the sidelines until he doesn’t.





	Practise makes perfect (sense)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a tropey, self indulgent and kinda gross word soup with a distinct idiots to lovers flavour. Because, write the fic you want to see in the world, right? Especially when you've already re-read all the amazing fic in the tag about 6000 times.
> 
> Huge thanks to [blacktofade](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blacktofade/pseuds/blacktofade) whose kind encouragement helped me not to give up on this and leave it to die of neglect in my gdocs. I haven't written fanfic since the lemon/lime rating system was the gold standard, and I've never written smut before, so it was an equally fun and frustrating process.

Ryan doesn’t make a habit of thinking about his friends when he’s jerking off. But sometimes in the heat of the moment he can’t help what pops into his head. 

He’s stroking himself just the way he likes it when he’s close to coming, one hand twisting just right on the upstroke, the other sliding fingers down to press against that spot behind his balls - a fairly new, but effective addition to his late night jerk off routine. 

Just as it’s getting really good, the memory of waking up on a shoot with a still sleeping Shane pressed tight against him flashes in his mind in vivid detail he didn’t even know he registered. At the time he’d been sleepy and anxious to get the shoot over with so he could go home to his safe, not haunted bedroom, and less focused on the specifics.

Now, on the edge of what’s promising to be a really good orgasm, he recalls the feeling of Shane against his back, hips rolling and hard dick grinding against his ass, nothing but the cotton of their boxes separating them. His fingers slide further back, teasing at his hole and he wonders what it would feel like. What it would have been like if Shane had pulled down their boxers and worked his dick in. 

He barely even finishes the thought before he comes so hard he whites out. 

When his brain comes back online after what feels like an eternity he’s shivering all over, nerve endings alight. “Huh. That’s new.” 

Sexuality is a weird fluid thing and one innocent little fantasy in the heat of the moment doesn’t really mean much in the grand scheme of things. So Ryan doesn't worry too much about it. But then it happens again. And again and again until the thought of someone, of maybe Shane, holding him down and fucking him has made a permanent home in his late night fantasies. It’s like an earworm of a song that he can’t just shake it off great, now he’s got that damn song stuck in his head as well).

To be honest, it’s getting to the point where it’s starting to affect his day to day. He’ll be going over notes for the editors and he’ll look up and see Shane, long fingers tapping away at his keyboard and his mind will just skip straight to boner city, population: Ryan. 

Ryan has never in his 28 years ever thought he might be anything but straight, so he isn’t sure what to do with the realization that maybe, just maybe, he’s not. And that kind of rattles him in a way he’s not sure how to deal with. 

He doesn’t have an issue with gay people, fratty no homo stereotypes aside, and he considers himself a modern man who can appreciate a good looking dude in a kind of fitness goals kind of way. It’s 2019 for Christ’s sake, so why is he freaking out over a few stray fantasies?

Part of him wishes he could talk this over with Shane, who’s always so unflappable and chill about these things, and would probably give him some good advice and calm him down. But he can’t make himself say it out loud to himself yet. And the thought of discussing his late onset sexual identity crisis with the inadvertent cause of said crisis scares Ryan more than the prospect of having to go back to the Sallie House. 

So he does what he does best and throws himself into research and tries to figure out the extent of his newfound interest.

He ends up losing an entire weekend to it and somewhere between helpful advice columns, sex positive subreddits and a healthy amount of porn, he starts feeling a little bit better about this new development in his life. Sure he might be bi, or at least bi-curious, but that doesn’t mean he’s a different person or that he suddenly has to change his whole personality. It just means he found a new thing he’s into. 

Ryan wouldn’t go so far as to say he’s  _ completely  _ chill about it, but the crawling anxiety has settled and left a growing curiosity in its place. He might even go so far as to say he’s excited? He’s always been a very physical person, always wanting to push his body further at the gym, always testing his boundaries, a physicality that has definitely spilt over into his sex life and maybe this is a new way to explore it? 

*

It’s Friday a week later and they’re out celebrating some viewership milestone or other. The party is already in full swing by the time he and Shane step through the doors. There are colourful drinks in kitschy glasses and the music is loud enough to add to the celebrations, but not so loud that it’s impossible to talk and the vibe is light and cheerful. They’ve barely made their way in when Garret appears and drags Shane off to go settle an argument about something Ryan couldn’t give a damn about. 

A couple of drinks in, Ryan finds himself at the bar alone. He’s barely said a word to Shane since they got there and it’s kind of bumming him out, since he’d been looking forward to some quality Ghoul Boys-time outside of the office. 

As he’s waiting for the bartender to make his drink, he looks around the room and his eyes fall on Shane. Maybe it’s the heat of the crowd, or maybe Shane is just feeling especially carefree, but he’s got his sleeves rolled up and a few more buttons undone than usual. 

Ryan finds himself struggling to look away from the flash of skin where his collar is splayed open, the way his forearms flex and move when he’s gesticulating. He’s startled out of his fixation when Shane looks over and catches his eyes with a wink and an especially cheesy finger gun salute. Normally he’d be rolling his eyes in response, but with the combination of alcohol and his imagination running wild Ryan can feel his face getting hot. So instead he quickly turns back to the bar, grabs his drink and flees. 

He ends up sitting down at a table with Curly, Devin and Kelsey D who’s doing the freelance thing now, but rarely declines an invitation with an open bar. Someone has tucked a yellow drink umbrella behind Curly’s ear, there’s a plate of half-demolished bar nachos on the table and they’re all comfortably tipsy (with the exception of Curly, who’s sober), so naturally the conversation strays to the topic of sex. 

It is definitely not the first time they've gone down this particular conversational road, they’re all twenty-something media professionals who regularly air their figurative dirty laundry on YouTube after all, but this time Ryan finds himself listening more intently than usual. 

He’s never been an active participant in these conversations, always feeling a bit skeezy telling other people about his private business, especially when that business involves other people. Even in videos where they’re supposed to answer questions women have about boners or whatever he’s been reluctant to share too much. 

Somehow they end up talking about first times and Curly is spinning a highly entertaining yarn about someone he dated who obviously had no experience with gay sex, but refused to admit it and how it ended in chaos and injuries all around. 

Listening to the story triggers something in Ryan and his anxiety brain starts spinning again, but before he really gets worked up, Devin interjects with her two cents. “I feel like the key to good sex of any kind is figuring out what you like first so you can tell your partner what’s up!” 

Kelsey almost knocks over her drink in her rush to agree “Yeah, I can’t count the number of times I let guys get away with humping me like a jackrabbit before I figured that out” 

Later, when the girls have left and it’s just him and Curly at the table Ryan blurts out “How do you even get  _ any _ experience if it’s so complicated?” 

He instantly regrets it, but Curly just looks at him curiously, all soft eyes and compassion 

“Oh, honey. It's not about the quantity  _ or _ quality of experience. Like Devin said, it’s all about going into it knowing your own body. Being mutually committed to having a good time is important and a huge part of that is being able to communicate what you want.”

Ryan nods absentmindedly and Curly puts a warm hand on his shoulder before adding. “And if you’re worried, experimenting with toys is not a bad idea.”

*

Later that night in bed he replays the evening in his head. 

Ryan doesn’t like being bad at things. His first time with a girl was with someone he’d been friends with for a long time so that despite them both being new to it, their first time fumblings weren’t even that awkward. And it got better with practice.  _ So much _ better. 

Fuck. He’s almost thirty and the thought of hooking up with someone and having to deal with a whole new set of firsts feels unbearably awkward. He briefly entertains the idea of downloading Grindr and just getting it over with, but that feels too intimidating and too impersonal. He’s never liked one-off hookups and on top of that he’s heard way too many horror stories at work (both on and off camera). 

He wishes he could just skip ahead to feeling comfortable and experienced without having to go through the whole song and dance. He wishes he wasn’t so intimidated by the newness of it all. He wishes he could just get dicked down like he wants to without being scared of fucking up or seeming awkward. He thinks back to Curly’s advice and decides that maybe he’s onto something. Toys sound safe. Easy. 

*

The next few days he spends a lot of time browsing toy sites and comparing various silicone dicks. And about an equal amount of time being low key turned on at the thought of railing himself with a toy. 

After about a week of obsessively looking through online catalogs and reading toy reviews he’s narrowed it down to a few options and surreptitiously saved the bookmarked them in a folder named “research notes”.

He finds himself getting distracted by imagining how it would  _ feel _ . The stretch and the weight of silicone. Ryan doesn’t consider himself vain, but working in digital media he’s very aware of his appearance. So he thinks a lot about how it would look, how  _ he _ would look. He thinks about being watched. About Shane watching. 

But mostly he thinks about working himself up to the real thing. Which once again leads to thinking about that morning that started it. 

Between thinking about Shane and the bookmarked toys in his secret folder it’s honestly a miracle he gets any work done at all.

*

They’re at Shane’s place going over ideas for the next season of Supernatural and discussing the pros and cons of doing another cryptid episode for this run. 

Shane is definitely pro-cryptid, arguing that it switches up the dynamic if he doesn’t think it’s  _ complete  _ nonsense. Ryan is less enthusiastic and worried about the ratings since they’ve already done the cryptozoology heavy hitters. Mid debate about chupacabras Shane gets a call and steps into the other room, leaving Ryan to pour over his spreadsheet full of spooky shit alone. 

When Shane comes back into the room Ryan is so engrossed in whatever’s on his screen, probably some horribly misguided conspiracy theory forum he’s managed to dig up, that he doesn’t even notice Shane sneaking up behind him. 

Just as he goes to spook Ryan out of his obsessive reverie he notices that Ryan is  _ very much not  _ reading about some underwater Area 51 type bullshit. Because he is definitely looking at toys. Of the adult variety. And not the collectible kind (although he’s sure some people probably do collect them).

It takes a second for his brain to reboot and he considers making a joke about Ryan getting a head start on his Christmas shopping. Because while Ryan’s definitely gotten over his no homo-phase, there’s no way Ryan would be looking for himself, no matter how much he goes on about alien probing after you get a few shots in him. Shane’s never been able to resist a good joke at the little guy’s expense.

“Oh, ho hoo. Is that what counts for cryptids these days? Or have you moved on to haunted butt plugs as an episode topic? Either way, saucy stuff, Bergara!” 

The way Ryan almost falls out of his seat is almost as satisfying as the flush that’s spreading on his face. 

“Shut up, Shane.” 

“Well, I for one don’t think you should go with the glittery one. Clashes with your aesthetic. Blue is much more your color”, he says waggling his eyebrows for effect. 

“Again, I repeat,  _ Shut. Up _ .”

Shane keeps laughing for a solid five minutes at the indignant expression on his friends face before changing the topic back to the merits of blood sucking goat chomping monsters. 

*

Embarrassing interlude aside they actually end up getting a lot of work done before Ryan packs up to go home. Much to his relief Shane dropped the subject pretty quickly and by the time he gets in his car he’s almost forgotten about the whole thing. 

Almost. 

Later that night, belly full of takeout Chipotle and just a hint of leftover shame, Ryan opens up his laptop again and clicks on the option Shane jokingly suggested. 

He should feel weird about it, but he gives in to the illicit curl of want and puts it in the basket with the other stuff he’s been ogling and places his order with expedited shipping, not even bothering to check the total. 

The next day when Ryan gets into the office, he’s a bit wary, but much to his relief Shane seems to have forgotten the embarrassing moment and doesn’t even mention it. 

Ryan exhales a sigh of relief, cracks his knuckles and opens up his email. It’s back to business for the boys and his calendar is full of pre-production meetings for the coming season. 

*

Shane doesn’t think about Ryan’s online shopping habits until a few days later when he gets back from a meeting and there’s a package waiting on Ryan’s desk. It’s just an unassuming brown cardboard box. Almost conspicuously anonymous and despite his  _ completely subtle _ attempts, he can’t make out the sender on the shipping label. 

Shane’s still sneaking glances at it when Ryan comes wandering over from the break room, buff little arms full of snacks and drinks for the both of them. Ryan puts his loot down and hands him a mug of coffee and a little bag of those chocolate and almond snacks he loves that always seem to disappear as soon as they turn up. 

“Aw thanks, buddy! I love these!” 

It’s then that Ryan notices the package and nearly knocks over his own mug of tea in a rush to put the box away. This would be telling enough on it’s own, but it’s the blush spreading on his face that really confirms Shane’s suspicions as to its contents. 

Ordinarily he would take this as a cue for some quality ribbing and while it is so very tempting to bust out the comedy gold that is a Se7en style “WHAT'S IN THE BOX??”, he can’t stop thinking about what might actually  _ be _ in the box. 

Unless someone went really overboard with the packing peanuts the package is definitely too big for it to only contain the dildo he caught Ryan looking at the other day. His mind gets away from him imagining endless possibilities. Sexy possibilities. 

Shane hasn’t really thought about Ryan in a sexy context before. Sure he’s  _ noticed _ Ryan before, it’s hard not to notice Ryan, what with the amount of times he ends up shirtless in the name of Content. And if Shane’s being completely honest with himself, maybe there has been a weirdly sexy dream or two when they’ve had to snuggle up for warmth on some particularly chilly “haunted” locations. 

Shane’s not really the type to get hung up on that kind of thing, preferring to compartmentalize for the sake of preserving his relationships. He’s always valued quality friendships over getting his dick wet. Like any normal reasonable person would. 

Right now he’s finding it very hard to remember how to be a normal, reasonable person though. The way Ryan keeps anxiously looking at the clock like he can’t wait to get home and open his box of treasures doesn’t help.

He spends the rest of the day trying to focus on the edit he’s supposed to be giving notes on, but in reality he barely gets anything done. 

When it’s finally time to go home Ryan barely says goodbye before running off to his car cardboard box under one arm. And Shane is left feeling like a shell of the person he used to be. 

*

The moment he gets home he’s a man on a mission, barely saying hi to his roommates on the way in. He just dumps his bag in the hallway, grabs a beer from the fridge and heads straight for his room. 

Ryan puts the package on the bed and ends up standing there, box cutter in one hand, beer in the other just staring at the unassuming cardboard box for a while. He’s almost bursting at the seams with some weird mix of anxiousness, anticipation and sheer frustrated horniness. 

Finally Ryan opens it. It contains a lot more stuff than he remembered ordering. There’s a set of plugs, two different kinds of lube, an assortment pack of condoms, a weird c shaped thing that’s supposed to be a prostate stimulator as well as the dildo Shane accidentally picked for him. He doesn’t mean to, but Ryan can’t stop thinking about it like that. It’s a little weird.

He’s feeling a bit overwhelmed, heat and anxiousness building in the pit of his stomach and he worries that just maybe he might have gone a little bit overboard. Up until now his interest has mostly been theoretical, faced with the reality of it all he’s kind of nervous. 

In an attempt to distract himself from a minor freak out, he gets in the shower, letting the feeling of cool water on his overheated skin calm him down. 

When he gets out of the shower, towel around his waist, he’s feeling a lot less freaked out. So he finishes unpacking the box, putting down the set of plugs on the bed along with a bottle of lube, before hiding the rest of his haul in the bottom drawer of his dresser. 

_ So I guess this is happening huh.  _

Ryan checks the locks twice before he drops the towel and gets on the bed. 

He settles down on his back, stretching out his body on cool sheets, he rolls his shoulders to shake off the day. Just trying to get comfortable and connect with his body for a moment. He takes a couple of deep breaths and focuses on the slow burning heat that’s spreading underneath his skin, the low heavy curl of arousal low in his belly. 

Grabbing the lube, Ryan slicks up his hand and slowly starts stroking himself. He doesn’t always need this amount of romancing, but sometimes you gotta give in and treat yo’ self to a little foreplay even if you’re on your own. 

He’s been halfway hard on and off all day, and despite the slow pace he’s set for himself, he feels like it’s not going to take much. Ryan’s not sure if it’s the anticipation of what’s to come or the days of low key working himself up to this that’s slowly driving him insane, but it doesn’t take long before he’s getting desperate. 

He reaches for the lube again and slicks up his fingers. Teasing the rim, before slipping a finger in and oh, he’s so, so relaxed. It doesn’t take him long to work up to a second, and fuck. It feels so good. He’s trying to curl them just so, but the angle is awkward so he barely grazes his prostate. 

Frustrated he pulls his fingers out and turns over on knees, leaning forward to rest on one forearm. He reaches back again, slicked up with more nine he adds another finger. And  _ oh, shit. _

He realizes he’s making borderline ridiculous grunting noises, the kind Shane would tease him for during a workout, as he’s working himself even more open, scissoring his fingers. Dick forgotten he’s more or less riding his own hand. But he can’t help it, too wrapped up in the stretch and zaps of perfect pleasure every time he brushes against his prostate. 

Ryan grabs for the plugs next to him and he knows he should probably start small but he’s so so worked up and feeling reckless and greedy so he grabs one of the larger ones in the set. It’s not intimidatingly big, but still a bit of a stretch. 

He starts to work the silicone toy into himself and oh, fuck, it is so much better than he imagined it would be. He feels so full and part of him feels like he could do this forever. Wrapping his still slick hand around his dick is all it takes for him to fall over the edge. 

The last conscious thought before he passes out is  _ Huh. Not a theory any more. _

*

Shane gets into work early the next day, trying to catch up on the stuff he was too distracted to get done the day before. He’s knee deep in emails when Ryan walks in with a metaphorical spring in his step and a dumb smile on his face. The phrase that comes to mind is bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Which is weird because that’s not a phrase he’s ever used before and he’s the king of dumb expressions. 

When Ryan sits down next to Shane he visibly  _ shifts _ in his chair. Shane is nearly chokes on his morning coffee when he’s struck by the sudden awareness what Ryan got up to when he got home with his box last night. 

He completely blanks out for a bit and white noise fills his brain until he realizes that Kate has been calling his name for the last few minutes. 

He snaps out of it. Puts his previous line of thought into a big box in his brain labelled “DO NOT OPEN”, grabs his laptop and goes into a meeting he’s nowhere near prepared for and very emphatically doesn’t think about cardboard boxes or Ryan or anything of the sort for the rest of the day. 

But the thing is,  _ it keeps happening _ . It’s not every day, but more often than not Ryan comes into the office with a beatific smile and an almost glazed over look in his eyes. It's such a difference from the normally high strung and tightly wired Ryan he’s used to, that it’s getting harder and harder to ignore. It’s getting to the point where not even his usual method of bottling up his feelings like a good old midwestern boy can hold up to the absolute barrage of thirst entrapment that’s raining down on him. 

After a while other people in the office start to notice Ryan’s change in attitude, but they seem to chalk it up to a new girlfriend.

Only Shane knows the truth which means only Shane has to bear the cross of knowing Ryan is probably railing himself sillyon the reg. When they eventually start joking about setting up a betting pool for when Ryan’s mystery girlfriend is gonna show up in some cutesy Instagram post, Shane slips out and goes to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water. 

The box in his brain meant for inappropriate Ryan thoughts can only withstand so much. So when Ryan comes in one Friday morning and sits down on his desk chair with more care than usual Shane cannot help noticing how Ryan’s eyes flutter while he’s biting back a soft groan. When Ryan opens his eyes and meets Shane’s stare he immediately blushes before shifting again. 

Shane has had it. 

He stands up, holding Ryan’s gaze for a second before hissing “NO!”, grabbing his stuff and leaving.

*

Ryan is so very, very still. He catches Devon’s eyes over their monitors and they share a moment of pure what-the-fuckery before she shrugs at him and goes back to work.

Ryan is honestly has no idea what just happened. He thinks Shane might have an inkling about his new hobby, but what he gets up to in his free time is his own business. You don’t just butt into your friend’s online shopping habits and then freak out about it out of the blue. 

Later that evening the weird anxiety returns. Shane’s the opposite of an open book about his feelings at the best of times and this morning’s outburst was way out of character. Which leaves Ryan unable to stop thinking Shane is disgusted with him. Which turns into a spiral of worst case scenarios including Shane quitting the show and HR getting involved and lawsuits and  _ oh, god _ . 

It’s past dinner time when he decides he can’t dwell on his impending doom any more and has to deal with it. So he texts Shane. 

_ To Shane:  
_ _ why did u just run out this morning?? did u leave the stove on or is this some new bit?  _

He hits send. Chews his cuticles anxiously. Stares at the phone. 

He sees three dots pop up indicating Shane is typing something back. They disappear as quickly as they appear. It happens three more times before Ryan decides he can’t take it anymore and starts writing another message. 

_ To Shane:  
_ _ is this some sort of puritanical weird midwestern hang up about sex toys?  _

The dots reappear and disappear again. He’s this close to being done with Shane’s waffling. 

He sends another message. 

_ To Shane:  
_ _ or is this about the crush thing? _

** _Read 11:23 pm. _ **

No more dots appear.

Ryan sighs, turns his phone off, stuffs it in the bottom of his work bag for good measure and goes to bed. 

He tosses and turns for a while before giving up. He tries to work some frustration out by jerking it until he’s too exhausted to move and ends up falling asleep with his favourite plug still inside. 

He wakes up the next morning to banging on his bedroom door and someone calling his name. It’s Shane. 

His roommate must have let Shane in. He’s fumbling for his glasses on the nightstand when he realizes he’s still naked and plugged up with silicone, but there’s no time to do anything about it so he grabs his sweats off the floor and goes to open the door. 

*

Shane still has one hand up mid knock when Ryan finally opens the door he just looks at Shane with bleary eyes, glasses askew and sporting a spectacular bed head Shane would  _ absolutely  _ make fun of if he wasn’t busy completely freaking out. 

Shane had rushed over as soon as he’d woken up, desperate to talk to Ryan face to face. He figured Ryan deserved to hear his apologies for ruining their friendship in person. But he was starting to realise that beyond that, he didn’t really have a game plan here. 

“Uh, we should talk” Shane says awkwardly, still caught in Ryan’s confused stare.

“Okay, dude,'' he sighs. “But first I need some coffee.” 

Ryan looks exhausted as he leads the way to the kitchen where he puts on coffee and pulls out mugs from one of the cupboards. Ryan’s roommate let him in on his way out so the apartment is empty but for the two of them. 

Before he knows it Ryan thrusts a mug into his hands, coffee prepared just how he likes it, and gestures to the sofa in the connected living room. 

They sit down and he watches as Ryan runs a hand through the mess on his head. He looks a bit like how Shane feels. Awkward, embarrassed and braced for bad news. It hits Shane like a punch to the gut. So he starts talking. 

“I’m sorry I made it weird. I don’t… I mean, if I made you uncomfortable I can back off and…” 

For once in his life Shane doesn’t have the words so he ends up staring down at the cup of coffee in his hands, but he can’t make himself drink it. When he finally looks up Ryan is just staring at him with a puzzled expression. 

“Huh” Ryan says after a while, still confused. “Wait, what do you mean you’ll back off? I’m the one with the embarrassing crush.”

Something in the air between them shifts, and Shane needs a moment to put the pieces of the puzzle together, before speaking up again. This time as slowly and clearly as he can. 

“No, Ryan, I’m talking about  _ my  _ incredibly inappropriate crush that has made it impossible to be a normal human being at work for the past few weeks for all the thirsting.”

Ryan doubles over and for a moment Shane thinks he might be crying, when he hears a tell tale wheeze and realizes he’s shaking with laughter. 

“I’m gonna need a bit more than that, Ryan. I’m putting my heart on the line here.”

“You sure did, big guy. I think we should take the rest of this conversation to the bedroom before my roommates get back.”

“What conversation?” Shane says as Ryan plucks the mug from his hands and puts it on the coffee table.

“The one where we see just where this apparently mutual thing takes us.” 

“Uuhh?” is all he can muster as Ryan looks at him with intent and leads him by the hand toward the bedroom.

Suddenly, the tables have turned so goddamn fast it’s like a scene from Poltergeist. Shane thought he came over for an awkward and apologetic conversation about his own inappropriate feelings. But instead he is hit with an avalanche of lust. A torrent of thirst. He blinks and lets himself be led. 

It isn’t until he’s halfway undressed and Ryan pushes him down onto his bed that his brain finally catches up to him. He reaches out to pull at Ryan’s shirt, desperate to undress him, but Ryan swats his hands away like he’s got a plan. 

Shane’s usually opposed to Ryan’s plans, since they seem to involve ghosts most of the time, but this time he can’t find it in himself to argue. Evidence suggests it’s a good plan. Very compelling evidence he thinks as Ryan dives into a kiss.

Ryan pulls back for a moment and continues his assault at Shane’s remaining clothing like his chinos are somehow personally offending him. When he’s down to his boxer briefs Ryan throws a leg over and straddles his hips, grinding down.

For a few seconds, all they can do is stare at each other before Ryan pulls him into another kiss. They keep kissing like that until Shane can’t take it any more and flips them over, pushing Ryan down on the bed beside him and gets to work peeling those goddamn grey sweatpants off. 

He almost chokes on his own tongue when he sees the plug. Fingers twitching with the urge to touch. Ryan takes his hand and guides it to where he’s stretched around the black silicone. He marvels at the way Ryan arches into his touch. 

“I can’t believe you let me pour my heart out while you were sitting there stuffed like a thanksgiving turkey.” 

“Gross” 

Ryan scrunches his face, then groans and arches his back as Shane takes a hold of the toy and slowly works it out of him. He's making the most obscene noises and Shane wishes he could bottle them up. 

Finally out and It’s a lot, uh, bigger than he expected. Which is good? And hot. So hot. He almost loses himself in thinking about what else Ryan can take until  _ he  _ can’t take it and has to grind his palm over his own cock to relieve some tension. 

Trying to compose himself, get a shred of normalcy back instead of just being this gross horny disaster. 

“So, uh, did you decide against the glittery one?” Sure. Bringing up the toy that started it all seems like a totally normal and not at all insane thing to do. 

Ryan laughs and reaches towards the drawer beside his bed. Digging around he comes up with lube and the very same silicone dick that started it all. It’s weirdly realistic despite its dark blue colour. He can’t help noticing how Ryan strokes it almost fondly before handing it over. It’s a lot bigger than the plug.

“Can I?” He asks dumbly. Ryan hands him the lube and turns over. Still soft and open from the plug it goes in easy with a helping of lube. 

When he woke up this morning he never would have thought he’d end up lovingly railing his best friend with a sex toy, but here he is. Ryan dropping down on his forearms and panting into the sheets while working himself back to meet Shane’s thrusts.

Just as Shane thinks he’s about to lose it Ryan pants out “Please put it in me. Fuck me”

“I am fucking you. Or are we experiencing this situation differently somehow?”

“God. Fuck.” he gasps between thrusts. “Fucker. You know what I mean. Want you. Your dick”. 

He pulls the toy out and Ryan turns over again, looking up at him expectantly.

Shane doesn’t have to be asked twice so he shimmies out of his boxer briefs and Ryan finally gets his hand on him. He doesn’t know when Ryan got hold of the lube but his grip is slick and tight and perfect.

“How do you want-“ but before he can finish Ryan has pushed him to his back and climbs into his lap. 

“Like this” Ryan reaches behind him and grips Shane’s dick and slowly, but confidently sinks down. 

Shane can’t stop staring at Ryan’s face. Ryan looks like every blasphemously perfect statue the Catholic church probably have banned as he slowly starts moving himself up and down. 

He looks like he’s found god astride Shane’s hips. 

All Shane can do at this point is put his hands on Ryans hips and try to keep up.

Try to make Ryan feel as good as he does before he completely loses his mind. Try to tell Ryan how much he’s wanted this with every roll of his hips. 

On one upstroke Shane must hit his prostate because the noise Ryan makes is out of this world. Shane realizes he can’t keep this up for much longer and curls one hand around Ryan’s leaking cock. 

Ryan’s orgasm seems to come as a surprise to them both. Eyes rolling back on a loud keen he comes all over Shane’s hand and chest. He slumps over and rolls off Shane onto his back before gesturing Shane to keep going. 

Ryan lets himself be rearranged and looks up at him with soft eyes and Shane can’t do anything other than start thrusting into Ryan again who shudders beneath him. Worried he looks at Ryan. 

“No keep going. It’s good. I like it. It’s good.” 

Ryan is soft all over and fucked out looking and he seems to bask in it as Shane keeps fucking him. He can’t last and as he hurtles towards his own orgasm Ryan reachesa lazy hand up and pulls him down into a kiss and that’s it for him.

Shane feels blown wide open, everything he’s ever felt about Ryan and hid away come to the surface. He collapses against Ryan, who strokes a gentle hand across Shane’s back and refuses to let him pull away. 

“Fuck, that was.. That was…” 

Ryan just hums in agreement and keeps petting his hair. When Shane finally manages to disentangle himself and pull out, Ryan looks completely blissed out and Shane is overwhelmed by fondness. 

Not wanting to leave the bed, Shane rolls over and grabs a shirt off the floor to wipe them both down with before wrapping himself around Ryan and tugging the covers up.

A proper conversation can wait until they’ve gotten a bit of sleep. For now, he’s content that they’re both on the same page finally.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on [tumblr](https://notascaredycat.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
